Hello, I’m Your Friendly Neighborhood Mosquito Magnet

10 min readDec 12, 2020

When I’m around, they don’t bother with anyone else

Photo by Mike Erskine on Unsplash

The first time my husband and I went camping, we’d been dating for about a month. I think he wanted to see if I was a princess. I set out determined to prove I wasn’t.

We set up camp, built a fire, cooked, and enjoyed our dinner. And then the mosquitos hit.

“Ow,” I complained, swatting one that had taken a nice chunk out of my leg. He rolled his eyes. They were biting him too, he said.

I could practically hear him thinking it — Princess.

That night, the heavens opened to unleash a torrential downpour, and he remembered it had been a while since he’d waterproofed the old tent. Rain misted down on us as we slept, through tiny pinholes in the fabric.

I told him I thought it was rather pleasant. I meant it.

The next morning when we woke up, he was shocked. My arms and legs looked like I had measles, even though I’d applied Deep Woods Off religiously throughout the evening.

Him? A couple of tiny red dots that didn’t even itch.

“I guess I’m just old and bitter and they don’t want anything to do with me,” he commented.

I’ve always been a magnet for mosquitos and other insects. They love me, and I always have an extreme reaction to the bites.

If you think mosquitos like you, then I’m the person you want around because it will be the only time you get any peace outdoors.

My grandmother was the same way. Fleas found both of us especially tasty as well. I remember Grandma came to visit once when our dog had fleas and she ended up with dime-sized blisters on her poor ankles. Fleas didn’t give me blisters but I could always tell when a house had them because they found me immediately. Sometimes I was convinced they were jumping off the family pet to bite me instead.

But, back to the mosquitos. I’ve tried every purported solution, chemical or natural, over the years. Citronella candles, the strongest DEET solutions I can find, Avon Skin So Soft (which many people swear by), you name it.

Trust me, if you think you have the miracle mosquito repellent that works for every single person, I’ll be the exception.

Recently I read an article about how taking a non-drowsy antihistamine before going outside in the evening can help people like me have a less extreme reaction to the bites. That sounded promising, so I bought some and put it to the test.

We had a bonfire in our backyard fire pit. I popped the pill about 30 minutes before going outside and sprayed myself with the citronella-scented solution my mom gave me earlier this year. It doesn’t stop mosquitos from biting me but I’ve felt like it was, at least, helping a bit.

The mosquitos must have been particularly hungry that night because they were relentless. I doused myself in Deep Woods Off, and they didn’t even miss a beat.

Sure enough, the next morning the welts on my legs were as bad as they ever are. So much for the antihistamine.

Though I’ve never been formally diagnosed, I suspect I have what’s known as Skeeter Syndrome — an allergic reaction to the proteins in mosquito saliva.

Ewwww.

Skeeter syndrome would explain why I have such a severe reaction to the bites, but it’s not why they’re more attracted to me. It probably has something to do with the chemicals my skin produces, but there isn’t much I can do about that.

So, I’ll suffer along, sweating through long sleeves if I have to be outdoors in the summer at dusk, trying every new repellant chemical that comes along. Maybe, someday, one of them will work.

Meanwhile, maybe I could hire myself out for picnics, barbecues, and camping trips. After all, when I’m around, the mosquitoes won’t bite anyone else!

Kathryn Dillon is a 40-something Cleveland Heights, Ohio-based author, rekindling her passion for writing after a 20-year hiatus. She resides with her husband and their very spoiled cats in a ridiculously large 1910-built home that they are slowly attempting to renovate. She is a product manager by day and holds an MBA from Roosevelt University and a BS in Magazine Journalism from Ohio University. She believes life should be lived to the fullest, and particularly loves baseball games, craft beer, rock concerts, art museums, and the symphony, not necessarily in that order.

Hello, I’m Your Friendly Neighborhood Mosquito Magnet

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